I Don't Know How Else to Say This

(credit: Elizabeth Fernandez)

[For those who want to listen to this on-the-go, the audio version should be up on Apple’s podcast website soon. You can also listen here.]

Alright, I know it's Friday night. I know y'all are hoping to relax a bit after a long work week, and I support that completely.

I want you to have fun and get the rest you need this weekend.

So, take this only as a friendly heads up, something to stick a pin in for later consideration after you've taken some time to think about things.

This has been an exceedingly shitty week for trans and non-binary folks. No, we're not a monolith, of course. Experiences will vary.

But this week, more than any in recent memory, has a lot of us in the community wondering, with greater anxiety, where cis people in our lives stand on our full and un-compromised humanity.

I'm not going to tell you why, and that's kinda the point of this.

Because honestly, you should probably already know. I get that information overload these days is a very real thing. We can't stay on top of everything. None of us can. It's too much.

But we know about the world through the eyes of those we keep closest to us. Family, friends, neighbors, colleagues. The people we see every day. The people we love. The people who shape our perspectives.

And if I'm being really honest, I've wondered lately if the average cis person has even an inkling of what any given trans or non-binary person experiences on a daily basis, even those whom they know.

This week--please excuse my language--really fucking sucked for us.

And I go to a party or come on this site or engage in the wide-ranging water cooler conversation that happens in work meetings and there just seems to be an unyielding obliviousness to it all.

If you're a cis person who knows what happened this week, you can keep scrolling. This isn't about you.

It's about the fact that I live in an area and move around in a community that is proudly progressive and outwardly thoughtful, and yet, I find myself observing a constant lack of knowledge and understanding on very basic aspects of the lives of trans and non-binary people.

This is not about shaming anyone. We all have work to do, and we all make mistakes. I know I do.

But I feel lately like I live in two different worlds, and it's heartbreaking to me when I see cis people--but particularly progressives--who seem to wall themselves off from greater understanding about trans and non-binary folks at best and at worst, barely conceal their own skepticism about our humanity.

Some of you have so much empathy and love you put out into the world, and it makes me wonder why that rarely seems to be channeled into understanding our community at even the most basic level.

It's getting more difficult with each passing day to hold the anger within me accountable and restrained and move in the direction of understanding and grace.

This is not difficult. It's really not. All it takes is a just a little effort in educating yourselves.

Again, if this isn't about you, don't worry about it.

But if you may feel that you have work to do, I can't express enough how grateful I would be to see you do it. It would mean more than you know.

Have a lovely weekend, friends.

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Hi, I’m Charlotte Clymer, and this is Charlotte’s Web Thoughts, my Substack. It’s completely free to access and read, but if you feel so moved to support my writing, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription: just $7/month or save money with the $70/annual sub. You can also go way above and beyond by becoming a Founding Member at $210.

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