I'm Not Leaving My Country
An answer to your question.
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We’re all facing tough questions of ourselves in this moment, and it’s only human to be scared and wonder what we should be doing right now.
Over the past few months, I’ve had numerous friends and colleagues ask in a variety of ways if I’m considering moving to another country or if they should consider it for themselves and their family.
The question has come up so frequently in recent weeks that I realize offering my thoughts in a quick essay and sharing it may save a lot of time in the long run.
First, let me make this clear: it’s none of my business what other folks decide to do, and moreover, it shouldn’t be my business.
If you believe you and your family will be safer and happier outside of the United States, that’s your call. You have to do what’s best for yourselves and your loved ones in this moment.
I have never been more uncertain about the future of our nation, and it would be incredibly arrogant for me to make the case for why you should stay, let alone hold judgment for anyone who makes the decision to leave.
If that’s the path you want to take, then you should. What I think about it shouldn’t matter, but for what it’s worth: I would never begrudge anyone who sees a better future for themselves elsewhere.
But I am not leaving. This is where I will remain. There are a few reasons.
For me, the most critical aspect is that there are millions of trans people, especially trans youth and their families, who cannot leave for any number of factors, perhaps the biggest being financial.
The next several years will be the hardest the trans community has ever experienced, and I cannot imagine getting on a plane and leaving all this behind, knowing there are trans youth who can’t do the same.
I can’t stomach the thought of any trans young person or their supportive parent navigating the hatred on display in our country and then seeing that I’ve left for greener pastures in a more trans-affirming country.
That’s just not how I’m built.
The second reason is that times like these demand people with more privilege to step up and do more where those without privilege cannot.
I can’t speak for anyone else’s situation, and I would never pretend to fully understand their struggles and assess the decisions they make for themselves and their families. That’s not my place.
But I do know my situation and understand the challenges, and I can’t help but feel that my place is right here, standing alongside every vulnerable community and doing my best to contribute to how we all get through this.
Finally, this is going to annoy and frustrate a lot of people, but I still firmly believe in the potential goodness of this country.
I still have faith that the majority of Americans want to live in a nation completely the opposite of what we’ve all witnessed over the past few months (and long before that).
Many will find that sentiment exasperating, and I get it. There’s a lot going on right now to fan the flames of our depression and anxiety and existential angst.
We’re here right now because tens of millions of Americans inexplicably voted against their own interests and tens of millions more decided to stay out of it. That, in itself, is probably fueling the feeling among many of us that there’s no way we can recover.
It’s more than understandable to feel that way, but if I thought this country didn’t have what it takes to be better, I would have given up a long time ago.
It’s not so much that I can say with confidence what happens next, but I can say with confidence that I see enough good in us to do what is necessary to get through this moment.
However inexplicable some may find it, I still have faith in us. I firmly believe we can build community with each other and support each other and do what it takes to get our nation back on the right track.
I think of the many millions of selfless Americans who have paid the ultimate price in service to the defense and improvement of this country and its people, and I simply can’t fathom not doing everything within my abilities to honor their sacrifice.
So, for those of you who have been wondering where I stand on this question, that’s my answer.
This is my country and I love it enough to demand better and I’m not leaving.
Thank you, Charlotte.
I agree, there are so many people who are good and are appalled at the awfulness of what is happening.
I had someone come do some work in my house today and we found our way to realizing we are like-minded on this, just looking at him, you might expect him to fall the other way. I think there are so many of us out there who are somewhat quiet but are trying to find each other.
There are a probably a million reasons why we didn’t win this last election, but it is a nation that elected Obama twice.
Bless you and know that I just subscribed because I wanted to be able to tell you how much I appreciate you. Giant hug.
Thanks for your posts. I am discouraged but hopeful. The 25% that voted for disruption are wrong and I think as time goes on they will demonstrate just that. I may not live long enough to see the end of their myopic, hate filled, message but I believe good will prevail. Thanks again for your hopeful message.