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Love of mythology is central to the American experience. We’d be much less happier—or perhaps, less entertained—without it.
Mythology permeates our country: George Washington axing the cherry tree, the sweet but apocryphal story of the first Thanksgiving, stacking back issues of The New Yorker near our desk with the false implication we’ve read any of them.
Here’s another one: the Pilgrims didn’t first land at Plymouth Rock. In fact, the Rock itself—yes, there is a literal rock—had nothing to do with the Pilgrims.
It marks a spot long claimed to be the landing area of the Mayflower, the Dutch cargo fluyt that carried the Pilgrims across the Atlantic, but the claim was originally and erroneously made by 94 year-old Thomas Flaunce more than 120 years after the landing. Flaunce, of course, was not an eyewitness to this.
And the Pilgrims never mentioned the Rock. They would be very confused by the importance placed on it today and may consider us all a bit weird (actually, it’s guaranteed they would consider us all weird).
No, in reality, the Pilgrims first anchored in the harbor of what is now known as Provincetown, a gorgeous seaside community of less than 4,000 residents at the southern tip of Massachusetts.
The other myth about the Pilgrims that was beaten into our heads from an early age is that they absconded from Europe in pursuit of true religious freedom, a core tenet of the American Experiment.
But in truth, the Pilgrims were religious conservatives who wanted to be completely separate from the spiritual influence of outsiders — perhaps “aspirational purists” might be a more apt description. They weren’t seeking true religious freedom for all.
The area where they first anchored already had residents: the Nauset people, closely related neighbors of the better-known Wampanoag, who were almost certainly the opposite of the Pilgrims in terms of social attitudes.
Although there isn’t substantial scholarship on the topic, it’s fairly likely that LGBTQ people were accepted on that land long before the Pilgrims arrived with their strict outlook on gender, sexuality, and family.
And so, it’s quite fitting that Provincetown is today considered one of the premier vacation destinations for LGBTQ families. The season reaches its celebratory apex every year with LGBTQ Family Week, organized by the organization Family Equality, this latest being its 30th year of celebration.
For three decades, LGBTQ families have traveled from throughout the nation—some crossing an ocean from other countries—to enjoy what can only be described as one of the safest places in America (and the world) for the LGBTQ community.
During a long, wonderful walk through town, I ran into a friend and caught up on life. She and her wife have been bringing their son ever since he was a baby. He’s now 15. He’s grown up surrounded by love and joy in Provincetown.
Last month, Nissan (North America) reached out and asked if I would join them as a guest for the festivities. They offered to cover travel and lodging, only requesting that I write about my experience if the spirit so moved me. I was not paid, nor would I have accepted payment.
My sole motivation was quite simple: while anti-LGBTQ laws are being passed in dozens of states and children are being attacked and books are being banned and fear campaigns are being waged against trans people by elected officials, I wanted to draw attention to companies who are walking the walk (or driving the drive, in this case).
If you’re pleasantly surprised that Nissan is so invested in LGBTQ equality, allow yourself to be further delighted. As a number of other large corporations, from Target to Tractor Supply, have quietly moved away from LGBTQ outreach in the midst of backlash from anti-LGBTQ extremists, Nissan has doubled down.
For years, they’ve achieved high marks in the Corporate Equality Index, an annual report released by the Human Rights Campaign to assess the commitment of a wide range of companies to LGBTQ equality.
And this year, they increased their sponsorship of LGBTQ Family Week, desiring to send a message that all families deserve and should expect kindness, respect, and dignity.
Of course, I immediately agreed to join.
There are two ways to get to Provincetown (“P-town") after landing: you can take a long drive from Boston or catch a much shorter ride on the Bay State Cruise Company ferry across Massachusetts Bay. I took the ferry, and it was lovely. It was about 90 minutes, but it felt like half an hour, I kid you not.
I spent the week with the lovely group from Nissan going whale-watching, singing karaoke (enthusiastically and badly and hilariously), laughing at a drag show based on the Devil Wears Prada, eating at several of the many charming restaurants in town, and generally enjoying the festive and welcome atmosphere.
And that was all great, to be sure. It was wonderful. But the parts of the trip that stick with me most were seeing hundreds of LGBTQ families gathered together in such safe and joyous celebrations.
There was Family Night at Motta Field, in which many a parent could be observed cleaning sticky fingers with wet wipes and cheering on their kiddos dancing in front of the stage and toddlers walking around with watermelon wedges bigger than their heads. Everyone just seemed happy and at peace.
Nissan’s Don Hayes delivered brief and moving remarks during the gathering, which included this heartfelt offering that got huge applause:
“You know, there was a time when I didn’t feel comfortable to be myself at work, concerned for my ability to advance…but I’m happy to report, that is no longer the case.”
Nissan also displayed their Ariya, an electric crossover, which I only mention here because it’s truly a gorgeous piece of machinery. (Again: they are not paying me to say this. I just think it’s pretty.)
And, of course, there was the Parade. Oh, the Parade. If you haven’t experienced the Provincetown Family Week Parade, you’re missing out. I’ve been to countless Pride parades in my life, and there’s something particularly special about this one.
LGBTQ families, as far as the eye can see, who weren’t so much marching as they were joyously promenading through downtown, proud parents and energetic kiddos, amused and cheering tourists on the sides, a collection of excited humanity slowly enveloping the streets. Love upon love upon love.
At the Parade’s end, I caught up with Alexis Kantor, who recently took the helm as President & CEO of Family Equality. I had seen Ms. Kantor around all week, always spreading good cheer and having a kind word and smile for everyone she came across.
I asked her what Family Week means to her. She said:
“Being surrounded by queer joy and a sense of belonging and families just feeling safe, protected, loved, and celebrated is all we can ask for… I would remind people that we need joy with our justice, and at the end of the day, families come here because they don’t always feel safe. They do have worry in their hometowns, and here, they can find their community… everyone gets to show up authentically as they are… we’re here to celebrate it all.”
At the end of our conversation, she summed it up about as well as anyone could:
“How can you not want to create a world where every single child, every single adult, every single human, gets to feel that unconditional love of family?”
I couldn’t agree more, and as I headed back to Boston on the ferry, I found myself immediately longing to return to P-town and feel unreservedly safe and accepted, walking its streets and simply existing as myself, beautifully and unapologetically and in communion with no shortage of kind souls.
My everlasting gratitude to the folks at Nissan and Family Equality for offering a bit of heaven in a time when so many desperately need it.
I only wish everyone could have that, too. Affirmation shouldn’t be a mythical concept.
(To donate to Family Equality and help support their amazing work, go here.)
Thirty Years of Heaven in Provincetown