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I’m afraid the rumor is true: Taylor Alison Swift, the 34 year-old singer-songwriter who was recently named TIME’s Person of the Year and won her fourth Album of the Year gramophone yesterday, is, in fact, a highly successful psyop chiefly created by the Central Intelligence Agency.
It turns out that President Biden has deftly and secretly marshaled the full resources of the federal government and the global intelligence community toward the specific aim of weaponizing Ms. Swift into an unstoppable political force that will ensure his reelection against the quadrice-indicted Donald Trump.
Ms. Swift’s global popularity has actually very little to do with her preternatural gift for storytelling, exceptional discipline for her craft, uncommonly precise awareness of how her audience connects with her art, extraordinary sense for marketing and personal brand, hall-of-fame business savvy, sheer potency of the projects with her colleagues, career longevity combined with a remarkable consistency for artistic excellence, and an authentic and unapologetic joy expressed through what she creates.
None of those factors, you see, account for her current level of unprecedented, stratospheric global fame, which is solely the result of a joint effort by the CIA, the Director of National Intelligence, the U.S. Department of Defense, the United Kingdom’s MI6, Germany’s Bundesnachrichtendienst, and the Disney legal team.
These agencies have been working in close connection with each other since the release of Ms. Swift’s self-titled debut album in 2006, carefully shaping her career trajectory and global influence as their most imperative, top secret national security project, codenamed Operation Reputation.
This all may defy conventional thinking, the idea that literally tens of thousands of intelligence professionals and political operatives have seamlessly worked together in cross-country collaboration over the past two decades in service to the vision of a highly-collaborative crossover country star, rigging album sales and award shows, uncannily deciphering what two separate generations of young people would find appealing in their musical tastes, engineering a complex history of interpersonal drama that connects most A-list music luminaries of this century in a manner that satiates the masses’ appetite for celebrity gossip whilst leaving Ms. Swift unblemished in public perception, all doing so without so much as a single person leaking the details of said master plan.
I mean, sure, with all this apparent power President Biden has at his disposal, it would have been much easier for him to manipulate our media environment into focusing on, for example, the fact that the U.S. unemployment rate is basically the lowest it’s been in five decades.
Or that 15 million jobs have been added under President Biden’s tenure, more than any president in American history by a country mile, in just three years.
Or that he became the first sitting president to join a picket line when he stood in solidarity with the United Auto Workers last year. (The UAW won that fight and endorsed the President last month.)
Or that he signed into law the first significant gun reform legislation in three decades and the first bill guaranteeing federal protection of marriage equality and the massive Bipartisan Infrastructure Law for which many House Republicans now take credit when talking to their constituents despite voting against it and the American Rescue Act that led our country out of the worst consequences of the pandemic and the PACT Act that ensures health benefits for veterans suffering from service-connected toxic exposures, etc.
Or that he successfully appointed the first Black woman to the Supreme Court, along with more than 170 federal judges, most of whom are women and people of color, dramatically moving the federal judiciary closer to how America really looks.
Or that he pardoned all prior federal offenses for simple marijuana possession and initiated the process to reevaluate how marijuana is scheduled under federal law, finally applying much-needed common sense to the catastrophically inept “War on Drugs.”
Or that he’s signed Executive Orders to protect life-saving abortion access and made it clear he will not back down in fighting for reproductive health care, one of the most critical civil rights issues of our time.
Or that he had the best midterms performance of any first-term Democratic president since Kennedy.
Or… well… you get the picture.
President Biden could be using this unimaginably potent global media and intelligence apparatus he apparently has at his disposal to place, front-and-center, the many, many, many accomplishments of his Administration in the past three years.
But instead, he has clearly chosen to invest the bulk of his time and power toward ensuring that Taylor Swift remains the most popular non-head-of-state in the world, all while keeping such a project airtight secret.
Yes, I’m sure that’s what’s really going on.
The same man who is daily criticized for his age has somehow ingeniously and nimbly forged into the popular imagination a pop star who is practically deified by young people and will serve as the long-planned saving grace of democracy and global stability.
Sure.
Or hey, hear me out: maybe it’s reasonable to believe that a young woman can achieve as much as Taylor Swift has done while prioritizing a proactive empathy for others that smoothly aligns with the President’s vision for our country.
That actually makes a lot more sense.
Hi, I’m Charlotte Clymer, and this is Charlotte’s Web Thoughts, my Substack. It’s completely free to access and read, but it’s also how my bills! So, please do kindly consider upgrading to a paid subscription: just $7/month or save money with the $70/annual sub. You can also go way above and beyond by becoming a Founding Member at $250.
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