I read an article by a Black woman about the term “woke”. She explained that Black children are “woke” first time someone called them the n-word; Black ppl are “woke” first a cop terrorizes them; Black parents when their child is killed by police. She went on to say white ppl can’t be woke bc they’ll never experience those events.
I wish I could remember who wrote the article, but as a Latinx woman I stopped using that term.
My most common flub lately is accidentally calling my trans daughter "dude". I try to cover by occasionally calling my cis-daughter or wife "dude" occasionally too. My trans kid is kind enough to not call me out on it but I wish I'd stop slipping like that!
I’m not so sure James Carville is a good example as a member of the human community at large, but that said…. I have to admit the hardest time I have is with the pronouns they/them. And it’s not that I don’t understand and embrace the gradation of gender identity and expression (I’m a non-binary, but cis, female). But grammatically, they/them is plural, representing multiple people. To use it to represent multiple expressions within a singular person is a leap that this 50+ year old brain has a problem with. It takes an effort for me to refer to a person as they, whereas I’m comfy with anyone’s choice of she or he. And, again, it’s 100% grammatical. I kinda wish Xe had taken hold, because it’s singular in my head. So, yeah, I make mistakes (usually covering by throwing the kitchen sink of labels out all at once), but it’s about remembering honoring how people themselves identify and want others like me to embrace. (Btw, I’ve ALWAYS had a misnaming issue - I don’t use my first name, Mary (see my handle) - and even after introducing myself as Beth, MB, or Mary Beth, I get called Mary, like, 25% of the time in a professional setting. This is why I honor one’s own identity.)
Thank you for this. Once again your thoughtful and incisive writing has given us the truth. I’m older than you, but I wholeheartedly welcome the evolution in my understanding. Sure it gets wearying sometimes, but anything worth doing always is. We can’t afford to half-ass this.
I read an article by a Black woman about the term “woke”. She explained that Black children are “woke” first time someone called them the n-word; Black ppl are “woke” first a cop terrorizes them; Black parents when their child is killed by police. She went on to say white ppl can’t be woke bc they’ll never experience those events.
I wish I could remember who wrote the article, but as a Latinx woman I stopped using that term.
Thank you for sharing this insight. I so appreciate your empathy and kindness.
My most common flub lately is accidentally calling my trans daughter "dude". I try to cover by occasionally calling my cis-daughter or wife "dude" occasionally too. My trans kid is kind enough to not call me out on it but I wish I'd stop slipping like that!
I’m not so sure James Carville is a good example as a member of the human community at large, but that said…. I have to admit the hardest time I have is with the pronouns they/them. And it’s not that I don’t understand and embrace the gradation of gender identity and expression (I’m a non-binary, but cis, female). But grammatically, they/them is plural, representing multiple people. To use it to represent multiple expressions within a singular person is a leap that this 50+ year old brain has a problem with. It takes an effort for me to refer to a person as they, whereas I’m comfy with anyone’s choice of she or he. And, again, it’s 100% grammatical. I kinda wish Xe had taken hold, because it’s singular in my head. So, yeah, I make mistakes (usually covering by throwing the kitchen sink of labels out all at once), but it’s about remembering honoring how people themselves identify and want others like me to embrace. (Btw, I’ve ALWAYS had a misnaming issue - I don’t use my first name, Mary (see my handle) - and even after introducing myself as Beth, MB, or Mary Beth, I get called Mary, like, 25% of the time in a professional setting. This is why I honor one’s own identity.)
Thank you for this. Once again your thoughtful and incisive writing has given us the truth. I’m older than you, but I wholeheartedly welcome the evolution in my understanding. Sure it gets wearying sometimes, but anything worth doing always is. We can’t afford to half-ass this.