That provided such insight. To be honest, you probably came across the guy taking a nap in his hidey-hole and he wanted to make sure you weren’t a teen couple parking in a secluded spot. That said, being pulled over in the middle of nowhere at night for nothing is scary AF, even for this cis-ish female and daughter of a police officer.
It’s these moments that anyone who isn’t a white male was trained for, among others. No sudden movements, hands on the steering wheel, do not take off your seatbelt, be drippingly polite, follow orders, etc, when dealing with the police. Don’t take a drink from anyone, don’t set your drink down and go back to it, don’t go off to the bathroom alone or generally get broken off from the pack when at a party or bar. Walk to your car with your keys in your hand. Don’t listen to your headphones in public or if you’re alone. Don’t live/stay on the first floor if you can help it. Leave notes when you go out when living alone or roommates are out, too. Scream “fire” instead of “rape” or “help.” No white males has been told these things.
Meanwhile, I’ve been let off about three times for every ticket I’ve gotten I these 35 years of driving, some because I was polite, some because of Dad’s business card (which stopped working some 20 years ago, some for who knows why. I was once written for speeding when I wasn’t (known speed trap in my ‘hood), because someone sped around me, I wished the trap was in play, it was, but the popo never saw me when he came after the brand new Toyota, ran me into the oncoming lanes, then pulled my 9yo Chevy over to write he up for the other guy’s 48 in a 35. When, astounded, I told the guy he almost killed me and that my dad was still on “the job,” he wrote me anyway, probably to scare me out of filing a complaint on his driving. After talking to Dad, I still filed the complaint and went to court ready to fight, only to find the guy no-showed, so the judge summarily dismissed all the guy’s cases. Seems he died of a heart attack in the meanwhile.
Good or bad outcomes, it’s much less about what you do and much more about who the officer is (or at least their mindset in the moment). That said, being a person of color does immediately make who you are a bigger factor than what you do, all of which is under a different scrutiny than whites’ actions. The police are not properly tasked with actually upholding the law, and enough of them take on that arrogance of being above the law because of that to make life an absolute mess when the police show up.
I still can’t imagine a world, ever, where all the warnings aren’t necessary. I just wish we can retire the warnings around “the authorities.”
I have followed you for almost a year, loving your voice and cheering you on. This post made me a subscriber. So much love for you Charlotte. There is not a more frighting place on Earth than a backwoods country road. And no more frightening image than your description of that cop. My palms started sweating for my own safety, and my privilege is astonishing. Solidarity.
I attended a 4th year remembrance for a black man who had been murdered in a nearby town. A black woman who was part of a panel said this "be sure to buy life insurance on your kids so that you can afford to bury them". We ALL have more more to do! TY
Oh Charlotte that was brilliantly written. I sat up in my chair and was terrified for you. It makes me sick that so many live in fear every day in this country. I pray this verdict is truly a first step to change and not a mere anomaly. Thank you for making me think long and hard about what I can and have to do, my buying some BLM t-shirts while well-intentioned isn’t near enough.
That provided such insight. To be honest, you probably came across the guy taking a nap in his hidey-hole and he wanted to make sure you weren’t a teen couple parking in a secluded spot. That said, being pulled over in the middle of nowhere at night for nothing is scary AF, even for this cis-ish female and daughter of a police officer.
It’s these moments that anyone who isn’t a white male was trained for, among others. No sudden movements, hands on the steering wheel, do not take off your seatbelt, be drippingly polite, follow orders, etc, when dealing with the police. Don’t take a drink from anyone, don’t set your drink down and go back to it, don’t go off to the bathroom alone or generally get broken off from the pack when at a party or bar. Walk to your car with your keys in your hand. Don’t listen to your headphones in public or if you’re alone. Don’t live/stay on the first floor if you can help it. Leave notes when you go out when living alone or roommates are out, too. Scream “fire” instead of “rape” or “help.” No white males has been told these things.
Meanwhile, I’ve been let off about three times for every ticket I’ve gotten I these 35 years of driving, some because I was polite, some because of Dad’s business card (which stopped working some 20 years ago, some for who knows why. I was once written for speeding when I wasn’t (known speed trap in my ‘hood), because someone sped around me, I wished the trap was in play, it was, but the popo never saw me when he came after the brand new Toyota, ran me into the oncoming lanes, then pulled my 9yo Chevy over to write he up for the other guy’s 48 in a 35. When, astounded, I told the guy he almost killed me and that my dad was still on “the job,” he wrote me anyway, probably to scare me out of filing a complaint on his driving. After talking to Dad, I still filed the complaint and went to court ready to fight, only to find the guy no-showed, so the judge summarily dismissed all the guy’s cases. Seems he died of a heart attack in the meanwhile.
Good or bad outcomes, it’s much less about what you do and much more about who the officer is (or at least their mindset in the moment). That said, being a person of color does immediately make who you are a bigger factor than what you do, all of which is under a different scrutiny than whites’ actions. The police are not properly tasked with actually upholding the law, and enough of them take on that arrogance of being above the law because of that to make life an absolute mess when the police show up.
I still can’t imagine a world, ever, where all the warnings aren’t necessary. I just wish we can retire the warnings around “the authorities.”
I have followed you for almost a year, loving your voice and cheering you on. This post made me a subscriber. So much love for you Charlotte. There is not a more frighting place on Earth than a backwoods country road. And no more frightening image than your description of that cop. My palms started sweating for my own safety, and my privilege is astonishing. Solidarity.
I attended a 4th year remembrance for a black man who had been murdered in a nearby town. A black woman who was part of a panel said this "be sure to buy life insurance on your kids so that you can afford to bury them". We ALL have more more to do! TY
Oh Charlotte that was brilliantly written. I sat up in my chair and was terrified for you. It makes me sick that so many live in fear every day in this country. I pray this verdict is truly a first step to change and not a mere anomaly. Thank you for making me think long and hard about what I can and have to do, my buying some BLM t-shirts while well-intentioned isn’t near enough.
I completely agree with you!