My god, Charlotte, you have forbearance the rest of us can only dream of, and the world is smarter for it. Questions like that beg for a stinging response, and we all know your wit is up to that challenge. And yet you chose a path that might—just might—open up that other person's understanding of why the question was rude and ridiculous. Brava!
Charlotte, if "patience is a virtue," you should be recognized as an official saint for Trans Rights & Education! Trulu cannot thank you enough for ALL you do.
As a cis-gender white woman Actor/Director/Voice Over Artist in Theatre, Film, Television, & a guest of various Podcasts, I find the Arts are typically the most accepting of environments. Quite recently another cis-gender woman in the Arts asked me if a Transgender male was going to "look like a boy or girl." The thought that I was about to have an aneurysm before respectfully answering the question actually crossed my mind. Took a deep breath, then answer respectfully I did. After answering, I then had to explain the proper pronoun usage for this particular case.
You Charlotte, are providing an invaluable service to countless people on a daily basis, and you have my utmost admiration. I will forever model all future conversations thinking "what would Charlotte do?" Next time you hear thunder, know that God and the Universe are giving you her Standing Ovation! As I am and who knows how many others.
You are a far better woman than I. I’m cis, and I have known forever I was not meant to have kids, but relish in my Auntie role, as do you. When I was younger (aka, ripe), I got, “You’ll change your mind. Here, hold my kid. You’re so good with kids, see? Now you want one, right?” Um, nope. I’m of an age where I was a tad ahead of the times, and as a cis-woman, my job was to have a family (on top of the career I was able to have).
Now, I have people (who should know me) forget and ask, “What are the kids up to this season?” or, “Which colleges are your kids looking at?” I’m glad I made the choice to not have kids and have to field these stupidities instead of other women, so I’ve told those people how amazingly insensitive it is to ask that question of a woman who doesn’t have the option to carry kids, or to have/care for kids, or is undergoing a very difficult process to have a kid through surrogacy, IVF, adoption, or other methods these strong women pursue. And how insensitive it is to ask me that not only because their gender bias is showing - that my value is in having and caring for my children - but also because they should know me as me by now.
So, nutshell, having kids and being a woman are distinct, complicated sets of choices, and being so complicated means even more so that all of it comes down to a number of personal decisions. <stow soapbox>
representing those over-privileged white cis males, with fragile, but outsized egos. And always, always, in all ways, diminishing women - or anything female outside of incubator and housekeeper.
My god, Charlotte, you have forbearance the rest of us can only dream of, and the world is smarter for it. Questions like that beg for a stinging response, and we all know your wit is up to that challenge. And yet you chose a path that might—just might—open up that other person's understanding of why the question was rude and ridiculous. Brava!
You are a treasure!
I want RBG wisdom, Katie Porter tenacity, and your patience. Sigh
Charlotte, if "patience is a virtue," you should be recognized as an official saint for Trans Rights & Education! Trulu cannot thank you enough for ALL you do.
As a cis-gender white woman Actor/Director/Voice Over Artist in Theatre, Film, Television, & a guest of various Podcasts, I find the Arts are typically the most accepting of environments. Quite recently another cis-gender woman in the Arts asked me if a Transgender male was going to "look like a boy or girl." The thought that I was about to have an aneurysm before respectfully answering the question actually crossed my mind. Took a deep breath, then answer respectfully I did. After answering, I then had to explain the proper pronoun usage for this particular case.
You Charlotte, are providing an invaluable service to countless people on a daily basis, and you have my utmost admiration. I will forever model all future conversations thinking "what would Charlotte do?" Next time you hear thunder, know that God and the Universe are giving you her Standing Ovation! As I am and who knows how many others.
Many heartfelt thanks. ❤
You are a far better woman than I. I’m cis, and I have known forever I was not meant to have kids, but relish in my Auntie role, as do you. When I was younger (aka, ripe), I got, “You’ll change your mind. Here, hold my kid. You’re so good with kids, see? Now you want one, right?” Um, nope. I’m of an age where I was a tad ahead of the times, and as a cis-woman, my job was to have a family (on top of the career I was able to have).
Now, I have people (who should know me) forget and ask, “What are the kids up to this season?” or, “Which colleges are your kids looking at?” I’m glad I made the choice to not have kids and have to field these stupidities instead of other women, so I’ve told those people how amazingly insensitive it is to ask that question of a woman who doesn’t have the option to carry kids, or to have/care for kids, or is undergoing a very difficult process to have a kid through surrogacy, IVF, adoption, or other methods these strong women pursue. And how insensitive it is to ask me that not only because their gender bias is showing - that my value is in having and caring for my children - but also because they should know me as me by now.
So, nutshell, having kids and being a woman are distinct, complicated sets of choices, and being so complicated means even more so that all of it comes down to a number of personal decisions. <stow soapbox>
I always learn so much by your stories, thank you for sharing them with us.
Beautifully written. Josh Hawley is an ass
representing those over-privileged white cis males, with fragile, but outsized egos. And always, always, in all ways, diminishing women - or anything female outside of incubator and housekeeper.
As always, thank you. Your patience is beyond amazing….
This is perfection. Thank you so much for saying what I’ve been struggling to find to words to express.